Stavros Krysiak, aka Anh Minh, posted:

How To Have An Enlightened Shit,  A New Modern Patented Method Developed By
Anh Minh.

I am happy to announce the development of the true enlightened shit.  I
have been experimenting with this method for some months and now having
perfected it, I am releasing the method on the open market as an aid for
ewnlightenement and with the hopes of making big bucks off the royaltes.

Take an ordinary eight ounce glass.  In this ordinary eight ounce glass an
extraordinary mixture is going to be made.  Before proceeding with this
method, take the time out to thank your lucky stars that your path has
crossed with Stavros.

Purchase a bag full of glow sticks at your local store.  Activate the
sticks according to the directions.  Usually the instructions tell  you to
bend the stick to activate it. Once activated it will glow. At this point
you no longer pay any attention to the directions or warnings of the
manufacturer.  Using a sharp knife or scissors, cut theses glow sticks and
pour the ingredients into the glass.  Fill the glass with this florescent
materialto the six ounbce mark.  Add one to two teaspoonsful of Metamucil
or better yet a imitation Metamucil, which is not made by Protor and
Gamble.  (an enlightening side: I hate to give any of my money to
them because they use it to produce that shit on television. The best way
to get the shit off the TV is not to buy from anyone who advertises of TV.)
Fill the rest of the glass with dieters tea.  This is a laxative.  The glow
sticks last for only eight hours. The tea will help the body pass the
enlightenment through before it becomes unenlightened.

Now all you have to do is sit and wait. While waiting you might want to
change the replace the light bulb in your bathroom with a black lamp. This
will enhance the effect.
When nature call go into the bathroom and enjoy your first truly
enlightened shit. Don't flush the toilet paper.  You can make spit
balls that look like meteors flying across you bathroom ceiling.

Remember  before you try this method that it is a patented method. You must
pay royalties to the holder of the patent of the process, who is me.  I'm
looking forward to seeing your cash.

For those of you who find this post disgusting have no fear. I am working
on a process in which this enlightened material is adsorbed into the
prostate gland. I am sure that you will like my next post which will be
about how to fuck you way to enlightenment.